Family Dinner

            One of the most interesting and relatable topics addressed in Stealing Buddha’s Dinner for me, was the connection between family dynamics and food.  Bich Minh Nguyen never engages this subject full on, but there are definitely some considerations about this throughout the book as a whole. 

            Throughout the book, Bich talks about how much she craves American food because it probably tastes so much better and will help her to become more American by eating it.  She seems to believe that if Rosa would just buy the American food that she and her sisters want, and then all of their problems of being different will go away.  However, there are several points in the book, where the author Bich sneaks in little disagreements with child Bich’s belief.

            The first of these comes when Bich goes over to play at her Vietnamese friend, Loan’s, house.  She stays until almost dinner, when Loan’s mother is putting a Geno’s pizza (so American) into the oven.  Loan’s father comes home and there is a quiet disagreement between husband and wife, ending with Loan’s father looking depressed and exhausted.  The child Bich does not verbally consider the implications of this, the reality that eating American food does not truly solve all of the problems of being an immigrant.

            Then, when Rosa decides to start buying all of the American food that Bich wanted, the dynamic in their house drastically changes as well.  Bich and her sisters no longer want this food because it means that Rosa is upset and makes them feel so emotionally poor that they are not hungry.  Once this American food period ends, things go back to normal, the anger and discomfort is gone.  American food was not necessarily the cause of the problems, but the desire by Bich to reject her family’s traditional dishes definitely had a negative impact.

            My family always had sit down dinners every night, even when my brothers and I were working, playing sports, and going out with friends.  It was never acceptable to take dinner up to your room or eat at a different time, unless schedules conflicted.  Dinner is so much more than just the food that is served, or the person who makes it.  It is a time to connect with family and friends even when you might not be able to cross paths for the rest of the day.  I would never consider changing or skipping this part of the day when I am home, even if sometimes I would prefer that my mom made something different than what she had. 

The real problem that arose from the desire American food in Bich’s home was that what Bich really wanted was for her family and Rosa to change on a personal level.  She so wanted to be American that she was willing to risk giving up her heritage and her familial connections just to fit in with her environment.  At the end of the book, it is clear that Bich has come to accept her culture and understand that Rosa was a mother, just not an American mother.  Most telling is that when she sat down to a meal with her biological mother, she found that she had nothing to say at all.  It’s not about the food at all, but rather the people you share it with and the things that you share with them.